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you're so beautiful it makes me sick

by Nusagi

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about

my heart is broken. i can't put the pieces back together.

lyrics

(Did you hate dealing with people?
More or less
But I didn’t really care as much
However, I really hated my father)
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night

(Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?
I think I may have been born just to meet you, Shinji Ikari)
The scent of your perfume
Still lingers in my room
It weaves into the threads
It’s filling up my head
The scent of your perfume
Still lingers in my room
It weaves into the threads
It’s filling up my head

(No, no, no!
It’s not possible!
I won’t believe that Kaworu’s an Angel!
It’s a lie!)
You make me lovesick
You make me lovesick

And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night

I think about you sharing love that I can never know
I think about you passing by my body in the snow
And as you walked by you wouldn’t even think to check my pulse
You hold each other closer as my body’s growing cold
Just please let me win one time
Give me one thing I know is mine
I could hold your heart and I’d never let it shatter
Thinking of the life that we could live, it doesn’t matter
I want you to worry about me
Attention seeking, my heart is bleeding
(Kaworu, don’t do it! Kaworu!)
I need help but can’t tell what needs fixing
I need you to be scared for my well-being
We don’t see each other often
Paopu fruit our promise broken
Keep a straight face and say it’s nothing
Razor blade my heart is opened

How could I ever mean as much to you as she does?
How could I ever mean as much as that to anyone?
No one could ever love me like that
You could ever trust me like that
I’m so ugly please don’t touch me
I’m so filthy I’m disgusting
(You betrayed me
You betrayed the trust I placed in you
You betrayed me just like my father did)
You try so hard but can’t get through to me
You tried so hard but I’m not moving, sleep
Nothing feels right anymore
I can’t love right anymore
Lying in my room sinking deeper into hell
Just know I’m not okay, I need help

You make me lovesick
You make me lovesick
(Kaworu, stop!
Why is this happening?)

And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night
And I see your name and my chest feels tight
And I breathe your air and my head feels light
And I see your face when I close my eyes
And I hear your voice when I’m up at night

(Humans cannot create from nothingness
Humans cannot accomplish anything without holding onto something
Humans are not gods)

credits

released July 1, 2022
written, produced, mixed, and mastered by Nusagi

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Nusagi Massachusetts

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